This hit me deeply. I became so comfortable living at the window—always watching, always waiting for the next painful thing to happen.
After losing my grandfather, my father, my uncle, my aunt, my niece, and my brother within years of one another, grief taught me to expect loss. I got so used to bracing myself for the next heartbreak that I forgot what it felt like to simply live. I smiled so people wouldn’t see the pain, but inside, I was exhausted.
Eventually, I had to let go and let God guide me. I stopped trying to prepare myself for every possible loss and started allowing myself to experience the life that was still right in front of me.
Today, I live fully, love deeply, laugh freely, and I can truly say I have never been happier.
I’m no longer standing at the window waiting for something to go wrong.
Hey ShaLeighthea it’s sooooo good to have you step into the town square with us.
I totally hear and feel your heart. When you walk thru loss after loss you go into survival mode quick. I’m so happy you are on the other side now. Cause I know how heavy that can be carry that kind of weight everyday.
Listen, you are a walking testimony. We outside now!!!! Let’s goooooo
Okayyy I think this one is safe enough for me to come off my porch and back into the town square *looks both ways before crossing the street*
“To say I know this could be taken away, and I am still going to be fully here for it anyway.”
Whew. Presence without a guarantee. 🥵
The fear of losing something really can keep you from ever fully having it. Because trying to experience something and pre-grieve it at the same time?? Fixx it Jesus 😭
Learning how to just be HERE. To let something be good while it’s good. To fully have it while I have it without needing a guarantee that I’ll always have it.
...Thank you for putting some clothes back on for this one. Much easier to talk in the town square this way 😂
Bruhhhhh… the way you got me laughing over here so hard🤣. First it’s too early for this amount of cutting up over here lol. But I loveeeee it.
Joy, you made me put my clothes back on because I needed my folks back in the town square with me hahahaha. But you hit it on the head. “ Presence without a guarantee” … is the cracked code. I know for many that is the most terrifying thing because we have experience loss so much that our human nature is to want and crave that guarantee this go round and we say within ourselves I need this first before I fully engage and that’s what starts this cycle at the window 🫣.
We really do need Jesus to fix it asap because we are truly missing out on “moments”. I love your feedback because that pre-grief and experiencing moments at the same time really don’t mix well 😩
Thanks for always adding Joy to our little town square comment section 🥰
😂😂😂 Now waitttt, I didn’t say you had to keep your clothes on!! Don’t let me interfere with the creative process lol. Porch Joy still has somewhere to go when the saxophones start getting TOO loud 😭😂
I think I’m just learning that I can appreciate the invitation into the more intimate letters without feeling like I have to match that vulnerability right here in the town square. So you carry on sir 😂 I know where my porch is now.
🤣🤣🤣🤣 I wish I could send video responses like you can do on IG lol.
But naw I feel you. I guess I will keep my naked episodes lol. That’s a great point on another note… we do sometimes feel like we have to match what another person expression is. Like if someone do something for you… we think we have to match and Reciprocate that back. But your right 💯💯💯💯🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾
This hit me deeply. I became so comfortable living at the window—always watching, always waiting for the next painful thing to happen.
After losing my grandfather, my father, my uncle, my aunt, my niece, and my brother within years of one another, grief taught me to expect loss. I got so used to bracing myself for the next heartbreak that I forgot what it felt like to simply live. I smiled so people wouldn’t see the pain, but inside, I was exhausted.
Eventually, I had to let go and let God guide me. I stopped trying to prepare myself for every possible loss and started allowing myself to experience the life that was still right in front of me.
Today, I live fully, love deeply, laugh freely, and I can truly say I have never been happier.
I’m no longer standing at the window waiting for something to go wrong.
I’m fully outside now. ❤️🙏🏽
Hey ShaLeighthea it’s sooooo good to have you step into the town square with us.
I totally hear and feel your heart. When you walk thru loss after loss you go into survival mode quick. I’m so happy you are on the other side now. Cause I know how heavy that can be carry that kind of weight everyday.
Listen, you are a walking testimony. We outside now!!!! Let’s goooooo
Okayyy I think this one is safe enough for me to come off my porch and back into the town square *looks both ways before crossing the street*
“To say I know this could be taken away, and I am still going to be fully here for it anyway.”
Whew. Presence without a guarantee. 🥵
The fear of losing something really can keep you from ever fully having it. Because trying to experience something and pre-grieve it at the same time?? Fixx it Jesus 😭
Learning how to just be HERE. To let something be good while it’s good. To fully have it while I have it without needing a guarantee that I’ll always have it.
...Thank you for putting some clothes back on for this one. Much easier to talk in the town square this way 😂
Bruhhhhh… the way you got me laughing over here so hard🤣. First it’s too early for this amount of cutting up over here lol. But I loveeeee it.
Joy, you made me put my clothes back on because I needed my folks back in the town square with me hahahaha. But you hit it on the head. “ Presence without a guarantee” … is the cracked code. I know for many that is the most terrifying thing because we have experience loss so much that our human nature is to want and crave that guarantee this go round and we say within ourselves I need this first before I fully engage and that’s what starts this cycle at the window 🫣.
We really do need Jesus to fix it asap because we are truly missing out on “moments”. I love your feedback because that pre-grief and experiencing moments at the same time really don’t mix well 😩
Thanks for always adding Joy to our little town square comment section 🥰
😂😂😂 Now waitttt, I didn’t say you had to keep your clothes on!! Don’t let me interfere with the creative process lol. Porch Joy still has somewhere to go when the saxophones start getting TOO loud 😭😂
I think I’m just learning that I can appreciate the invitation into the more intimate letters without feeling like I have to match that vulnerability right here in the town square. So you carry on sir 😂 I know where my porch is now.
🤣🤣🤣🤣 I wish I could send video responses like you can do on IG lol.
But naw I feel you. I guess I will keep my naked episodes lol. That’s a great point on another note… we do sometimes feel like we have to match what another person expression is. Like if someone do something for you… we think we have to match and Reciprocate that back. But your right 💯💯💯💯🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾